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The Leaver and the Left
Posted on Friday, July 08, 2011
In every divorce, each spouse takes on a role- the leaver and the left. Robert Emery talks about this phenomenon in his book The Truth About Children and Divorce. I have recommended it to dozens of folks after seeing him speak in a conference a few years ago. The leaver and the left have a very different mindset when it comes to the process of divorce because of their place on the divorce grief cycle. Remember that unlike a death that has finality, a divorce continues to have the chance of reconciliation and therefore the grief cycle can be extended as the couple vacillates in the good times and bad that encamp every failing relationship. As time goes on, the grief cycle of love – anger – sadness begins to flatten out and the person can feel somewhat whole again, although very different. READ MORE
Moth to a Flame
Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2011
I have a theory about good girls that cheat in Mississippi. I am stipulating in the first paragraph that I know very little about the way women think. The sum total of my knowledge comes from my experience in the dating world (years ago), my representation of about 350 or so women of all ages going through a divorce or family crisis, and my wife and two daughters. Any of these references (with the exception of Mollie Ann and Emma) could possibly tell you that I don’t know jack, but here goes anyway. READ MORE
Note to Self: Close the Blinds
Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011
Cheating. It just happens. It is not a part of every divorce case in Mississippi, but I can say with certainty that it is a part of at least half of them. I personally am a strong believer that in almost every circumstance when a woman cheats, it is a symptom of a marriage that is already on life support. Guys not so much. Sex is simply less emotional to a man than to a woman. Most guys could go out and have sex with a fencepost and then go home and at least on the surface seam to be content with his home, wife and kids. With women, who deeply desire an emotional connection, when they are not getting an intimate bond from their marriage, they gravitate to some form of connectedness. The “conversation” can lead to a physical relationship if she is not very careful. READ MORE
'Til Debt Do Us Part
Posted on Thursday, June 16, 2011
I am 26 years old and marriage is all around me. Yes, I am at the age where every week a friend calls screaming in excitement about her engagement. Many of my friends are also obtaining higher degrees from graduate programs, like me as well, and have loan payments looming over them after graduating. So, what happens to this debt after you marry? Are you alone legally bound to pay it, or is your future husband marrying you and your debt? What happens if the marriage ends? Who ends up paying? READ MORE
The Bottle Tree and Your Divorce
Posted on Friday, June 10, 2011
I love bottle trees. We have one outside the window of our keeping room where we spend 90% of our time at home. There is something purely southern about a bottle tree. As you already know, I love the South. Supposedly back in “the day”, people would put them outside their home to catch evil spirits. I happen to have one outside my window because I think it is cool. We have been collecting bottles from antique markets and junk stores. (There may be a Heineken bottle or two on there as well) READ MORE
The Body of the Spider
Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2011
If you have read much of what I have written, you know my dad is an electrician- IBEW Local 480. At age 78, he served as the primary electrician when Rachel and I constructed our home. This man has an incredible work ethic that I am blessed to attempt to model in my life. Like my dad, I have always enjoyed the construction business. It has been a hobby ever since I finished law school. I have been actively involved in the construction of the addition on our first home in Fondren, a house at the reservoir, an office building on Avery, a house in Reunion and the office/condominiums in Olde Towne Ridgeland. READ MORE
Momma and Them Don't Know Better
Posted on Monday, May 23, 2011
If you know me, you know that I am a proudly from South Jackson- I’m not talking about Byram. I’m not talking about Terry. I’m talking about snuggled between McDowell and Raymond Road around the corner from Wingfield High, South Jackson 39204. My phone number growing up began with 372. I proudly wear my South Jackson t-shirt because it is a part of who I am. If you are from South Jackson, you immediately get the benefit of the doubt in my book. READ MORE
Making the Most of Your Weekend
Posted on Sunday, May 15, 2011
Now living in Mississippi is not the same as living in some place where there is a steady stream of activities, but your weekends don’t have to be like a trip to Disney or “Dad Camp” each and every time. The most important thing is to be together- to be focused on your child and not whatever else or whoever else is in your life at the moment. READ MORE
Paper is for Remembering- Brains are for Thinking
Posted on Saturday, May 14, 2011
A wise woman once told me, “Paper is for remembering; brains are for thinking.” Brilliant! I have always been a person who needs paper – lists and calendars; these are staples in my life. I incorporated this logic immediately into all aspects of my life. If my children want me to do something for them, they write me a note. READ MORE
Everyone Deserves a Mulligan
Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I started playing golf 20 years ago as a high school senior. I had some garage sale clubs and some buddies and I would trounce up and down the Jackson Municipal Golf Course or the links in Raymond at Hinds Community College. It has always been fun, but I have never really taken it seriously. In fact, I have never taken a single golf lesson. I pretty much just go out and play. My golf swing is of the classic has-been-baseball-player genre. Imagine that. READ MORE
Marriage is hard, there is no denying it and sometimes couples want to test the waters so-to-speak to see if they want to stay and work on their marriage or if they are ready to begin the divorce process. Couples who are not ready for divorce often opt for a trial separation, i.e. someone moves out of the house, gets an apartment, as if they are taking a so-called break from the marital home and possibly the marital relationship. Some states have laws that allow for couples to have a “legal separation”, however, Mississippi does not. Here the rule is simple: the law favors marriage. You are married until you are divorced or someone is dead. There is no such thing as legally separated in Mississippi, couples cannot go to a court and request that it put a hold on the marriage. This does not mean that you and your spouse cannot agree to a separation, it only means that any such agreement will not be judicially enforced. 
