Settling Your Case Isn't the Same as Throwing in the Towel

Posted on Saturday, March 26, 2011

In Mississippi, a person can get a divorce by agreement or for one of the reasons the Legislature has set by statute. Let's say you sue your spouse for a divorce based on adultery. You can also request a divorce by agreement (irreconcilable differences) in the alternative. Depending on the facts that arise during the investigative part of your case, your spouse might indicate a settlement could be possible through focused negotiating in mediation or an informal settlement conference. Is it worth it to concentrate on settling? In the vast majority of cases, my answer is absolutely yes.

For some people, the thought of talking about divorce and child custody issues in open court is almost unimaginable. I'm a divorce lawyer, so going to court and dealing with those topics is part of what I do. But I've seen firsthand what trials can do to families. More times than not, a trial can harm relationships forever. Some people believe it's worth it to reveal in public what a spouse has done, and agreeing to a divorce settlement is almost like throwing in the towel and quitting.

What many people don't realize is that Mississippi divorce trials aren't conducted before juries. In most cases, the only people who hear the testimony are the parties, their attorneys, the court reporter, and sometimes other attorneys who come by to get something signed by the judge for another case. So, it can be a lot more anticlimactic than you might think. That's not always the scene, of course. I have watched some Perry Mason (or Jack McCoy) moments unfold in Chancery Court, and I have pulled some myself. Many people want their day in court, and I certainly can't argue that there's anything wrong with it.

When you think about what's at stake -- your kids' well being, your ability to communicate with a future co-parent/ex-spouse, and all the other relationships that could be harmed once the divorce is granted -- it makes sense to give settlement a fighting chance. Our judges are committed to protecting children and giving parties a fair shake, but I would always rather craft a deal that works for my client. Doing that isn't quitting -- in most cases, it's being smart.

By: Jeremy P. McNinch