Your Final Destination

Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2011

I was in an airport recently and watched passengers deplane from a flight that was very, very behind schedule. The passengers were panicked, afraid they would miss their connecting flights. A helpful airline employee tried to help them on their way by asking, "What is your final destination?" One passenger replied, "Heaven!" He knew where he was going to end up, regardless of the obstacles the world presented.

The scene made me think about the most common questions I get from clients: "How long will it take to finish my case? How much will this cost me in the end?" The answer to these questions is frequently very disheartening: your attorney usually just doesn't know.

If you are involved in a family law case and this is hitting home with you, let me make a few observations. First, a complicated family law case, whether it's a divorce, modification, or contempt action, is an enormous commitment of patience and determination. It can seem to last forever if you're the one living it. You and your attorney know where you want to end up, but sometimes you don't know if you can make your connecting flight to your final destination, so to speak.

Here's to the good news: if you are a plaintiff, you've made a decision to take action to accomplish something; if you are a defendant, you've likely decided to defend yourself against allegations you see as baseless or untrue. Hopefully, you've hired the right lawyer and informed your friends, family, and church family you need their emotional support. You are on your way to the next gate in the airport of your case.

But you might be finding it hard to forgive and forget. You might be terrified about what life will be like after the case is over and how you will make it in your new reality. You are going through a major life change that might not have been your decision. You know what? That's all completely natural.

I hope your answer to the question, "What's your final destination?", would be the same as the panicked airline passenger, regardless of what life throws at you. If that's not your answer, think about the wisdom of his response. Everything happens for a reason and, given time, everything will work out the way it should -- for the best -- even if the change isn't what was on the checklist of things to do in your life.

Take a deep breath and dig deep to find the energy and help you need to finish strong. It's worth it, I promise.

By: Jeremy P. McNinch