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Not the Same
Posted on Friday, May 25, 2012
It has been a while since I sat down to write a blog article. Who would of thought being the executive director of a new, Mississippi non-profit adoption agency would be so time consuming? But I digress (more on that later)… I have a friend and client who is going through a divorce. He is a great guy who made a few mistakes. Actually, in the grand scheme of mistakes that a person can make in a marriage, his were relatively minor offenses, but his wife, a hard-charging, type-A personality, cannot stand that her perfect little idea of a life may not have a starched shirt and slick, silk tie. I grieve for him, but I grieve for her just as much. I want to reach out to her and tell her that if your idea of living is measured relationally to those around you as opposed to what springs from inside, inhabiting the spiritual realm, there will never be a sense of satisfaction, but what do I know, she is going through one divorce and I have been through about 500. READ MORE
KEEP CALM and CARRY ON
Posted on Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I should be in the shower headed to the office, but I am writing to you instead. Last year I was in the habit of writing almost every day. I was sharing thoughts inspired by our church’s L3 Journal to a bunch of guys. It hasn’t gone that way this year. When Emma started kindergarten, our mornings became much more hectic, and if I didn’t write first thing in the morning, it was not going to happen. This week, Rachel is on a mission trip in Costa Rica with a group called Visiting Orphans. I am getting a small taste of being a single dad. READ MORE
Financial Advisor Guest Post: Because They are Worth It
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2012
Statistics show that roughly one out of every two marriages will end in divorce. There are many factors that require attention during and after a divorce. Some of the obvious are financially related, but the less obvious emotional factors can severely impact the financial outcome of a divorce. I recently had a client make the following statement after settling a multimillion-dollar divorce: READ MORE
Money Will Not Grow on Trees
Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Money might not grow on trees, but if it did, you would have an ongoing duty to report any changes in the foliage of your money tree if you were involved in a domestic case where there were any economic or property issues . Anyone who has gone through a divorce in Mississippi probably remembers having to fill out the 8.05 Financial Statement-page after page where you are required to itemize anything pertaining to money- your salary, pensions, insurance, down to what you spend every month on magazine subscriptions and even what you tithe every month to your church. As fun and exciting as it was to fill out the form before, effective July 1, 2012, individuals in domestic cases where money and/or property are involved (i.e. divorces, child custody and support, spousal support, etc…) are now required to disclose ALL assets and liabilities, regardless of whether they are marital or non-marital and are under a DUTY to supplement their prior disclosures if any changes have occurred. READ MORE
Tim Tebow versus Joel Osteen
Posted on Sunday, January 15, 2012
I have a friend who is an addict. It breaks my heart how he continually makes bad choices. I have not supported his bad choices and he has said many things calculated to hurt me –mostly via text message. Even if untrue or with only shades of truth, words from those you love hurt the most. That is one of the many things that make divorce in the Bible belt of Mississippi (or anywhere for that matter) so freaking hard. READ MORE
Top 5 Places People that Cheat Meet
Posted on Tuesday, November 15, 2011
If you have read much of what I have written, you know that while adultery causes a lot of divorces, it is usually not the primary reason a marriage fails. The failed marriage leads to cheating --it is a symptom of the disease in most cases, not the disease itself. Nevertheless, where people that cheat meet is pretty predictable, and I thought I would spend a few minutes talking about them. READ MORE
The Sugar Jacket
Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2011
One of my favorite television programs is Modern Family. In one episode, the character, Gloria, coaxed her husband into giving advice on the "Good Dog, Bad Dog Training System." Guillermo, the entrepreneur, described his business idea with honesty and excitement. The system was fatally flawed, however: it rewarded the dog for being good or for being bad. For being good, the dog got a bacon-flavored treat; for being bad, it got a bland treat. After listening to the pitch, Gloria's husband, Jay, bluntly told Guillermo the idea was not good. The would-be businessman wept. Gloria told Jay that he should have been nice and "put on the sugar jacket" when he commented on the plan. READ MORE
Your Final Destination
Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2011
I was in an airport recently and watched passengers deplane from a flight that was very, very behind schedule. The passengers were panicked, afraid they would miss their connecting flights. A helpful airline employee tried to help them on their way by asking, "What is your final destination?" One passenger replied, "Heaven!" He knew where he was going to end up, regardless of the obstacles the world presented. READ MORE
Redemption and Divorce
Posted on Monday, September 26, 2011
I was in the book store the other day and I was browsing while Rachel and the girls were listening to story time in the children’s section. A little red book by Mark W. Gaither called Redemptive Divorce caught my eye. I finished it last night. While it would seem that Redemption and Divorce are antonyms, Gaither uses a Biblical discussion of marriage and divorce as the backdrop to introduce a legal strategy aimed at keeping marriages together. He proposes that filing for divorce can help save a marriage about 20% of the time. READ MORE
The Leaver and the Left
Posted on Friday, July 08, 2011
In every divorce, each spouse takes on a role- the leaver and the left. Robert Emery talks about this phenomenon in his book The Truth About Children and Divorce. I have recommended it to dozens of folks after seeing him speak in a conference a few years ago. The leaver and the left have a very different mindset when it comes to the process of divorce because of their place on the divorce grief cycle. Remember that unlike a death that has finality, a divorce continues to have the chance of reconciliation and therefore the grief cycle can be extended as the couple vacillates in the good times and bad that encamp every failing relationship. As time goes on, the grief cycle of love – anger – sadness begins to flatten out and the person can feel somewhat whole again, although very different. READ MORE
