Your Divorce is News
It has been so long since I wrote a blog article, I’m going to have to read the manual to remind myself how to make a post, but I guess I figured it out if you are able to read these words. Writing is like exercising, it is hard to get into the habit, but easy to fall out. R+A did really well for a long time. In fact, you can pick up a cool little PDF of five years of our blogs HERE. Also, spend some time on this new site. We worked really hard to make the copy fresh and to give our potential clients lots to think about.
I will start back by making an admission to you. I have a problem. My name is Craig Robertson, and I am addicted to Netflix.
My problem is cyclical, like any addiction. It starts with fantasy. Fantasy is the traverse into the false. In my case, it is television. For many, it may be drugs, alcohol, sex, food or work. With addiction, one moves into fantasy to cover pain. Pain happens to you and through you. If pain is hidden, it grows arms and legs and becomes a monster. Addiction can often be that monster, and fantasy is the medication.
The next step in the addiction process is the ritual. Maybe I will just see what is playing on Netflix this week. It is okay to watch Netflix if I ride my exercise bike at the same time because I am being productive. For other men and women, it is different. The shopaholic may just walk through the store to see if anything is on sale. The person addicted to food may just drive down County Line Road to see if the “Hot Now” sign is glowing red.
Then we act out. I may watch five episodes of Breaking Bad. Your husband may visit the massage parlor or take a pill or take a drink. The shopaholic finds a deal she cannot pass up and the person addicted to food cuts a U-turn and swings into the donut shop.
The final stage is shame. The addict feels like dirt –shameful. It is that shame and guilt that perpetuates the next fantasy and the addiction cycle continues.
My latest Netflix binge was Making a Murderer, a compelling true crime series that has the nation talking. If you want to know about it, do a Google search. It is blowing up everywhere. This morning, I read an article in the New Yorker which does a nice job of examining the manner in which the ten-part documentary was made. This got me thinking about you.
I have said for many years my job involves what people talk about at parties. In other words, divorce gossip is entertainment for many. Like a Baptist church prayer list, people want to know more details so they can “pray” for you. In the case of Making a Murderer, a horrific crime and the legal proceedings following are turned into entertainment for public consumption.
If you are walking through a divorce, the same thing will happen to you, although I hope it will be with much less attention by the general public. Your misery can, in a twisted way, make someone in your circle of influence feel better about themselves. Sort of the opposite of Facebook. People will put together bits and pieces of your story and think they know the truth, when in fact, people can experience the exact same event and have a totally different perception of what they observed.
Your job, as someone who may walk through the misery of divorce, is to hold your head high and know the only person who may know the truth is you and God, and that is enough.
Craig Robertson is a family law attorney who practices law daily in Ridgeland, Mississippi.